ding dong the witch is dead

Happier times?

Wow. Finally, that asshat Gordon Campbell is gone. The day that I have longed for oh these many years as a poverty-stricken student has finally arrived. I’m sure reality will set in soon enough, but I really want to enjoy this brief honeymoon period and possibly get staggeringly drunk.

According to his press release, he resigned party leadership “after considerable soul searching and discussion with my family,” which saddens me slightly as I was really hoping that he would rage-quit after finally reaching the end of his rope inconsolably weeping over one of the following:

*  the taunts and jeers towards his (possibly brain-damaged) giggles during his red-mittened festivities at these past Olympics

* seeing his mugshot on one too many t-shirts gracing the backs of pot-smoking UVic students littering the lawns of parliament

* attending the last desperate production of an independent-yet-brilliant play by a local theatre company only to have the entire cast suddenly rear in unison upon his doughy face and shout a giant “Fuck you!”

You will not be missed. Retirement tip: take a nice vacation in Hawaii. Apparently you like it a little too much there.

(Author’s Note: My great-uncle once taught a college-aged Gordon Campbell and he proclaimed him to be the “sleeziest, most untrustworthy” student he’d ever taught. Fact.)

Author: Ashleigh Rajala

Ashleigh Rajala is an award-winning writer whose work has been published in numerous journals, both online and in print. Past incarnations of hers include filmmaker, zinester, bookseller, wayward traveller and commune-dweller, while currently she works in social planning and lives with her husband and an extraordinarily fluffy cat in Surrey BC.

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