So… it’s been too long. School is back in full swing, and I’m already feeling the pressure. I’ve also been working on novel proposals to send to literary agents, to try and get The In-Between – my novel of the first series of the Savannah Stories- published. There is an interesting adventure to be had in here somewhere, but who knows what will happen?
I have a feeling this will be a venting entry, so be prepared.
Anyway, this is probably just the stress and general discontent talking here, but I’m starting to question exactly what I’m doing with school and work and all. I think this readiness to actually get this book out there has kind of shaken me up a little- and in a good way, I think. I’m starting to think that I should quit Chapters, just because I really need more time for myself- like a weekend every now and again. I’ve been apprehensive about actually quitting, because its something of a safety net. Archaeology is the same way. I like it, but I’m not passionate about it. It’s my back-up, so to speak.
Now, a safety net is a good thing to have, but what if it’s holding me back? I feel like I’ve been investing too much time in preparing for my back-up that I will completely neglect the rest of my life. I’ve been living and breathing my back-up, and at the end of the day, I’m really not that happy with my life. I don’t think I can handle this for much longer. I feel like I keep saying, “just these next few months” or “just till the end of the semester” and stuff like that. I’m living for the breaks in my regular routine. I feel like I need to break it.
I can’t- and I won’t- quit school now, and it’s kind of scary to think that I no longer have any plan. I was thinking that I would just get some sort of job in archaeology and everything would work out. Like I would go to grad school and stuff, but I can’t handle any more school. Now I have no idea what will happen. It’s scary, but a little bit exhilarating. Right now, I just don’t care what job I end up with, just as long as I can get by, you know, be able to get my own home, and be able to have a little extra spending money. Beyond that, I don’t care. At the end of the day, it’s not necessarily the job you’re doing, but the people you have in your life. Right now, I don’t feel like I have enough time for the people in my life. I don’t want to waste my time in a job that takes up all my life.
Oh well, I don’t know what else to do. If all else fails, I’ve been paying into E.I. for five years, so maybe they could give me back a little. I guess life is supposed to be this frustrating, eh? Hopefully, my book will be a best-seller and the movie rights will make me set for life!
It could happen!
It’s also my birthday tomorrow.