milestone 1: blood of my blood

Since I've been out for a while, I thought I'd recap a few things that have happened in this last year or so of radio silence. This is the biggest one.* I have another nephew! He is my third nephew, the second one named Benjamin, and the first borne by my only sister. He is … Continue reading milestone 1: blood of my blood

i don’t even have the where-with-all to think of a good title (meeting the family, perhaps?)

This past Saturday night, BoyRoommateFriend met the family. (Why, that's a premise you could shape a Ben Stiller movie around!) My family has a remarkable way of dealing with new significant others. Mum, in particular, has a knack for staging these so-called Events. When she can't lure you into the trap of an alleged birthday … Continue reading i don’t even have the where-with-all to think of a good title (meeting the family, perhaps?)

my mum, the superhero

A short list of reasons why my mum is a superhero. In no particular order. She wears a Batsuit. I once nicknamed her housecoat "The Batsuit" in an attempt to mock her. (It had to do with certain resemblances to the Schumacher/Clooney batnipples.) Like any person full of win, Mum turned this around on her would-be bully and … Continue reading my mum, the superhero

for christmas one year I got a jem doll and middle-class guilt

This is the story of How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate Class Differences. I'm pretty sure most of why I grew up to appreciate Marx is encapsulated in this tiny little nugget of childhood. This is the second time I've had to write this post (as I've already grumbled about). Whenever such a … Continue reading for christmas one year I got a jem doll and middle-class guilt

state of the union: the more things change…

I know it's been a while, but somehow, summing up the last few days of my life is remarkably similar to summing up the last month. _____ Invited over for dinner with the parents on Thursday. I had been thinking this was rather sweet of them, since there wasn't anything like Glee that week to … Continue reading state of the union: the more things change…

a hatred of clubbing that transcends generations

[liberally adapted from reality] The house was silent save for the flickering of some distant infomercial blasting through the two am airwaves: a direct transmission of nothingness from the autocorrected perfection of the studio right into Dad's vacant, tired eyes. He heard me stagger in, heels clicking away across the linoleum. Each clacking step came … Continue reading a hatred of clubbing that transcends generations

why I don’t answer my phone in the morning

I got to work this morning with two missed calls from Mum. Two. Two missed calls within half an hour of each other. Surely, some strange contrivances of fate are afoot which have rendered her helpless and lame and in desperate need of my assistance. I called her back right away even as the clock … Continue reading why I don’t answer my phone in the morning

the morning routine with dad

Mum took a spontaneous trip to New Orleans this past week, which means that Dad has been home all alone. Now, Mum normally gets the brunt of the memoir/sledge-hammer, but I really think that's mostly because she's a much more exuberant personality. Dad, on the other hand, is a quiet force, soldiering on beneath the … Continue reading the morning routine with dad

why my cat is awesome (and it’s not why you think)

So I've been so busy editing (deadlines, man, do they suck, eh?) that I haven't had much time to write any new posts. I am, however, an iDouche, which means have the power to record voice memos when I'm supposed to be doing better things (i.e. driving safely). In lieu of a written post, I … Continue reading why my cat is awesome (and it’s not why you think)

the five-pound chocolate bar, or, why I can’t save chocolate

Is it just me or are they stuffing fewer and fewer chocolate-covered almonds into those door-to-door peddled boxes these days? Perhaps I am just siphoning nostalgia back from the days when we sold actual chocolate bars. I was at my parents' house the other day when I heard a rapping, rapping at the chamber door. … Continue reading the five-pound chocolate bar, or, why I can’t save chocolate