Ticker Tape Kings

"A time travel story unlike any I’ve read." - Black Gate __________________________ Time travel always has rules. These rules bend to nothing but the will of the narrative. It is not the case in real life. In real life, I am told, time travel has one un-bending, un-breaking rule: you cannot come back. Lawrence did … Continue reading Ticker Tape Kings

i don’t even have the where-with-all to think of a good title (meeting the family, perhaps?)

This past Saturday night, BoyRoommateFriend met the family. (Why, that's a premise you could shape a Ben Stiller movie around!) My family has a remarkable way of dealing with new significant others. Mum, in particular, has a knack for staging these so-called Events. When she can't lure you into the trap of an alleged birthday … Continue reading i don’t even have the where-with-all to think of a good title (meeting the family, perhaps?)

for christmas one year I got a jem doll and middle-class guilt

This is the story of How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate Class Differences. I'm pretty sure most of why I grew up to appreciate Marx is encapsulated in this tiny little nugget of childhood. This is the second time I've had to write this post (as I've already grumbled about). Whenever such a … Continue reading for christmas one year I got a jem doll and middle-class guilt

a hatred of clubbing that transcends generations

[liberally adapted from reality] The house was silent save for the flickering of some distant infomercial blasting through the two am airwaves: a direct transmission of nothingness from the autocorrected perfection of the studio right into Dad's vacant, tired eyes. He heard me stagger in, heels clicking away across the linoleum. Each clacking step came … Continue reading a hatred of clubbing that transcends generations

why I don’t answer my phone in the morning

I got to work this morning with two missed calls from Mum. Two. Two missed calls within half an hour of each other. Surely, some strange contrivances of fate are afoot which have rendered her helpless and lame and in desperate need of my assistance. I called her back right away even as the clock … Continue reading why I don’t answer my phone in the morning

why my cat is awesome (and it’s not why you think)

So I've been so busy editing (deadlines, man, do they suck, eh?) that I haven't had much time to write any new posts. I am, however, an iDouche, which means have the power to record voice memos when I'm supposed to be doing better things (i.e. driving safely). In lieu of a written post, I … Continue reading why my cat is awesome (and it’s not why you think)

the five-pound chocolate bar, or, why I can’t save chocolate

Is it just me or are they stuffing fewer and fewer chocolate-covered almonds into those door-to-door peddled boxes these days? Perhaps I am just siphoning nostalgia back from the days when we sold actual chocolate bars. I was at my parents' house the other day when I heard a rapping, rapping at the chamber door. … Continue reading the five-pound chocolate bar, or, why I can’t save chocolate

this week in triage

  Triage [tree-ahzh] the principle or practice of sorting emergency patients and/or casualties in battle or disaster into categories of priority for treatment* I drive (or perhaps... drove) a 2002 Cavalier. I say he is lovingly monikered Ernie because of my desire not to ascribe to gendered naming conventions, but really it's because his first license … Continue reading this week in triage

the traumatizing reason why I hate playing monopoly

To quote my mother: "Monopoly tears families apart." This is fact. Yet still, Sunday night witnessed a rebirth of the Rajala Family Game Night. We used to do this often as kids, perch ourselves around the kitchen table and play a good old family game. The fun was renowned, the fights... more so. What could possibly … Continue reading the traumatizing reason why I hate playing monopoly

rediscovering the boss

My first crush was on Bruce Springsteen. I was young. Very young. These were the days when all I wore all day, every day, was my one-size-fits-all Batman t-shirt. My dad had Born in the U.S.A. on cassette tape and used to play it repeatedly in the car whenever we drove anywhere. Mostly because he loved … Continue reading rediscovering the boss